A Song of Fiery War Axe & Ice Breaker #1

“Admit your defeat, Thrall! There is no way you can win this game!”

Garrosh and Thrall were sitting across the table from each other, playing Hearthstone on their laptops. It was the first day of the Witchwood expansion and the orcs were situated in one of the secret gaming rooms at Blizzard HQ. Thrall was staring closely at his screen, mulling over his next play.

“Okay, how about this!” Thrall finally made his move, placing a Murmuring Elemental on the board, followed by Shudderwock. From both computers, the loud cries of the new legendary minion emanated:

‘MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH! MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH! MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH!’

Garrosh was scratching his head as Shudderwock copied itself, cleared the board, dealt damage to him, healed Thrall, and then returned two copies of itself to Thrall’s hand.

“What the hell was that?” he slammed his hand at the table, demanding answers from his rival.

“I was watching Toast stream this deck and beating everyone with it today. Looks like I might be on top of the meta once again, Garrosh!” Thrall proceeded to laugh loudly, his voice echoing through the room.

“So you cleared the board and healed a little, big deal!” Garrosh spat back “I will now reload the board with my magnificent rush minions and set up lethal next turn! Lok’tar Ogar!”

Thrall leaned back in his chair, smiling. He reached to his mouse and made his next play.

“Not so fast, Garrosh. I have lethal myself.”

Once again, Shudderwock entered the board. And then another Shudderwock entered the board. And another….

‘MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH! MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH! MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH! MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH! MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH! MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH!”

Garrosh was staring at his screen in shock, watching his health pool slowly whittle down while his board was being picked apart. Thrall nodded in approval, and whistled in tandem with Shudderwock’s war cries.

—-

After 5 minutes, the turn has yet to finish, as both Thrall and Garrosh began to look bored.

“How long is this going to last? I can’t even concede!” Garrosh muttered in frustration, profusely clicking on his mouse. Thrall shrugged.

“I… don’t know”

‘MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH! MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH! MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH! MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH! MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH! MY JAWS THAT BITE! MY CLAWS THAT CATCH!”

—

Five more minutes later.

“Alright, I’m gonna go grab something to eat at the cafeteria” Garrosh spoke, getting up from his seat “Want to come with me?”

“Sure!” Thrall soon followed Garrosh, with the orcs leaving both laptops on, as Shudderwock continued to discuss his body parts and their primary functions.

“They let this thing through in testing…” Garrosh pondered as they were exiting the room.

“Yep”