A Song of Fiery War Axe & Ice Breaker #20


“So Lady Jaina, what did you call me here for?”

Jaina and Uther were standing in a hallway just outside of a closed door. On the door, a poster for Rastakhan’s Rumble was hung. The Mage looked fairly distraught, pacing back and forth.

“Uther, you’re my only hope. It’s happened again and he cannot be reasoned with whatsoever” she pleaded with the Paladin.

Uther raised an eyebrow, unsure of whether he understood what was being implied.

“What’s happened again, Jaina? You don’t mean to tell me that…”

“It is what you think it means. Ever since the expansion was announced, he’s gone berserk. Literally”

Uther sighed, his fears confirmed.

“How bad is it? Are we talking about Knights of the Frozen Throne levels of bad?”

“Hmm….” Jaina pondered “It’s probably worse. You’ll have to see for yourself”.

Uther gulped and proceeded to knock on the door.

“Anduin? It’s Uther. Can I come in?”

A few moments of silence followed before a voice was suddenly heard.

“You may enter, but I cannot guarantee your soul can leave”.

Uther and Jaina looked at each other, nodding. The Paladin shrugged, opened the door and let himself in.

The room was dark, lit up by neon lamps that were hung around the room. Loud, booming jungle music ringed Uther’s ears. The Paladin tried to walk his way through junk that was scattered on the floor. He could spot voodoo dolls, idol statues and other ritualistic items.

Across the room, he spotted the back of a figure. It turned around to reveal itself to be Anduin. He was shirtless, wearing only red boxers. His chest was painted with white horizontal stripes that reflected the neon lighting. On his head, he wore what looked like a ceremonial skull mask. Upon being spotted, he approached Uther with a hunched posture.

“The Loa be greeting you, mon” Anduin talked in a forced accent that made Uther’s heart squeeze in embarrassment.

“Anduin, what the hell are you doing?”

Anduin tilted his head in response.

“Who be dis Anduin you speak of?” he replied “My name is Bwonsamdi. What business do you bring to the Loa of Death?”

Uther held his face and sighed.

“Anduin, you’re supposed to be King of the Alliance at this point, yet every time a new Hearthstone expansion is announced you revert to your 8th grade syndrome and role playing. When are you going to grow out of it already?”

The Loa of Death hissed in anger.

“The Loa does not appreciate you coming here to diss it, mon. Is your soul not precious to you? If you disrespect me like that, I can bring you da pain, ya know, mon”

“Yes, yes.” Uther rolled his eyes “Like when you locked me in eternal darkness as the Shadowreaper”

“Da Shadow Reaper is gone now. Raza be fallen with nerf. Only Data Reaper remain one with the Loa”

“Oh light be with me, this is bad” Uther muttered, realizing what needs to be done.

“Jaina!” Uther shouted in the direction of the door “We’re going to need to restrain him. Bring the handcuffs we confiscated from him back then”

“The police ones from Mean Streets of Gadgetzan or the fluffy ones he brought back from his date with Sylvanas?” The voice outside asked.

“It… doesn’t matter!”

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