A Song of Fiery War Axe & Ice Breaker #14


At a secret location near Blizzard HQ, a portal can be used to travel to a faraway garden. Within the garden, a beautiful greenhouse has been built, housing many exotic vegetables and fruits. One day, Peter Whalen decided to pay a visit to the greenhouse, which is maintained by none other than Malfurion Stormrage.

“Hello, Malf!” Peter entered the greenhouse, glancing around the impressive structure. There were rows upon rows of vegetation, shining under the basking light of the sun. Peter could spot glimmering fruits within the leaves, which made his appetite awaken.

“My Greetings”

Malfurion was seated on a chair in the center of the greenhouse. Various, strange instruments were placed on a table in front of him. Tubes, syringes and other unidentified tools could be observed.  Peter was in awe of the technology that surrounded him, but tried his best to shake it off and get to the reason he was there.

“I don’t mean to disturb you, Arch-Druid” he said “but I’ve received all sorts of reports about suspicious activities here and wanted to check on things myself”.

“Suspicious activities? Hmm” Malfurion raised his brow in surprise “What kind of activities?”

“Some people claim that you’ve been growing and distributing Juicy Psychmelons from this greenhouse” Whelan replied, with a quizzical look.

Malfurion let out a heartfelt laughter, holding his stomach.

“That’s a wild accusation, Peter!” he responded with a smile “We know Psychmelon juice is a narcotic drug, and this greenhouse prides itself on only growing well balanced, nutritious fruits and vegetables”

Peter nodded “I’m aware of the purpose of this greenhouse, but if everything is as you say it is, you wouldn’t mind if I had a look through the place, would you?”

“Not at all!” the Druid replied with a welcoming gesture “You can look around as much as you like! I recommend checking out the tomatoes on the second aisle to the left. They’re wonderful! Feel free to taste one since they’re just about ready to be picked”

Peter smiled back at Malfurion and bowed. For the following few minutes, he walked around the greenhouse, and inspected every plant around. The greenhouse was filled with incredible aroma and color, and he was thoroughly impressed.

There were absolutely no signs of any wrongdoings either. The vegetables and fruits he met were exotic, but legal to grow and distribute. He picked up and bit into one of the tomatoes Malfurion recommended, and it was the most delicious tomato he’s ever tasted. It was as if a party of flavor was exploding in his mouth, and he could feel his whole body rejuvenate in response.

Finally, Peter Whalen finished his inspection and walked back to Malfurion.

“It seems like those claims were false alarms. I’m sorry for wasting your time, Arch-Druid”

“There is no need to apologize” Malfurion shook his head, smiling “feel free to come back any time!”

Peter nodded, and proceeded to leave the premises. Malfurion leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes and taking a deep, relaxing breath. He narrowly opened his right eye, and glanced at the disappearing figure of Peter Whalen, who seems to have used the portal to return to his office.

Malfurion grinned and grabbed what looked like a communication device from his table.

“He’s gone” he whispered to the device.

Within seconds, what looked like organized chaos ensued, and the greenhouse began a transformation. Rows of crops were raised to the air, revealing that they were supported by massive, mechanical levers. Giant tunnels opened in the ground, to which the rows of vegetation were lowered within. Replacing them was vegetation that was previously hidden in those tunnels, and was rotated upwards.  After a few minutes, the greenhouse was completely different.

The aroma in the air was now intoxicating, with giant, glowing fruits hanging from bushes that were moving as if they were dancing to a tune. Some of the branches held vials with bubbling purple liquids. The fruits had swirling patterns of purple, green and pink.

Malfurion got up from his seat and headed towards one of the bushes, just as a trap door opened in the ground to his right. A platform was raised from which a Night Elf woman emerged, smiling at the Arch-Druid.

“That was close. We need to be more careful next time, my love” she said.

“Don’t be such a worry wart, Tyrande. I’ve got things under control” Malfurion replied, picking one of the colorful fruits from a nearby bush and throwing it in her direction.

“Let’s get high” he winked at her.

Tyrande expertly caught the flying melon-like fruit, and proceeded to puncture a hole in it with a straw. Malfurion did the same with a second melon, and they soon sat next to each other, beginning to eagerly sip the contents of the melon.

A couple of minutes later, both Malfurion and Tyrande were lying on the ground with wide grins, completely drunk on Psychmelon juice, giggling uncontrollably.

“Datz the gud shtuff” Tyrande called out, before letting out a burp.

“Hmmm… Well played” were Malfurion’s last words before passing out in bliss.

Miss the last episode? Catch up here!

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