“Gul’dan, your era of domination is over! After I achieve this victory, the Warrior class will jump at least two tiers in the Data Reaper Report!”
At a secret gaming room at Blizzard HQ, a few days after the release of Witchwood, Garrosh and Gul’dan finally had their first Hearthstone battle. They were seated at a table, across each other. In the middle, Thrall was spectating, deep in thought. Gul’dan was wearing his full Warlock gear, and next to him at the table, rested a cup full of a gooey, bright green liquid that was emitting thick vapor.
“Deluded fool!” Gul’dan spat back “I shall crush you with my superior deck and send you back to the outskirts from which you came” he took a sip from his drink, after which he coughed a few times and took a deep breath. An evil grin emerged on his face as Garrosh made his play, dropping a Festeroot Hulk on the board.
“Ha! What a pathetic play!” he continued “I play Possessed Lackey and Dark Pact. This spawns a Voidlord on turn 6! You shall never be able to pass it, Garrosh. My demonic power is too great for anyone to handle. This world shall be… MINE!” Gul’dan broke out in maniacal laughter until he choked on his breath, which prompted him to begin coughing and wheezing once again.
“Damn it, you’re still playing the same deck!” Garrosh complained.
“Why should I change it?” Gul’dan shrugged “The power of this deck is a gift I’ve received from Kil’jaeden the Deceiver himself. With it, I shall take over the world and remake it by my design!”
“Gul’dan, can you please just…” Thrall interrupted while shaking his head “tone down the roleplaying when you’re playing Hearthstone?”
“What is this… ‘roleplaying’ you speak of, son of Durotan?” Gul’dan inquired, grumbling under his breath.
“Well, we’re just playing a card game. You’re not taking over the world and your Hearthstone gameplay is not fueled by demonic energy.” Thrall bluntly responded.
“Disbeliever!” Gul’dan slammed his hand on the table “Then how do you explain the demon blood I’m quenching my thirst with?” He lifted the cup to present it to Thrall and took another sip from the thick, green liquid before placing the cup back on the table. “This is a gift given to me by Mannoroth the Destructor! With it, my cognitive abilities reach those of a titan! None can outplay me in any game!” Gul’dan’s evil laughter followed his words, echoing throughout the room.
Thrall leaned over towards the cup, smelling its contents. He leaned back to his seat and shook his head.
“It’s just a Lemonade Slushie!”
Gul’dan’s laughter stopped. He growled at Thrall and moved the cup closer to his end of the table, away from Thrall’s reach.
“I don’t need to prove anything to you fools” Gul’dan hissed “Make your play, Garrosh! Or are your rush minions completely useless against the might of a Voidlord?”
Garrosh scratched his head and growled in frustration. Gul’dan was correct. As the game continued, Garrosh lost any control of the board and was soon put in a hopeless position, being pressured by multiple Voidlords. He finally conceded and got up from his seat.
“Hahahahaha” Gul’dan clenched his fist in victory and grinned “Once again, the power of The Legion prevails. Come back to me when your deck isn’t complete garbage!”
Garrosh frowned; sadness was building up inside him.
“Why do you have to act like an ass?” Thrall spat at Gul’dan “This is just a game!”
“This is a game to you?” Gul’dan quickly responded “This is about the control of the universe! Sargeras’ voice still echoes in my head, urging me to vanquish the weak in his name. Now that I’ve defeated Garrosh, The Legion is preparing another invasion to Azeroth, and with it…”
“Alright alright, we get it!” Thrall interrupted, rolling his eyes and sighing “let’s go, Garrosh, we’ll try building another deck and beat him next time.”
“Okay…” Garrosh’s tone lacked any enthusiasm, and his posture was hunched, signaling his depressed state of mind. Thrall took Garrosh’s hand and walked him out of the room. Before exiting, Thrall turned his head back, taking one last, stern glance at Gul’dan.
“We’ll be back” he said, before slamming the door shut.
Gul’dan rubbed his arms in glee before turning his attention back to his laptop. He was typing on his keyboard for a few minutes before reaching for his drink. He stared at the cup and noticed the vapor coming out of it was fizzling out.
“Curses! I should have carbonated it more.”
Miss last week’s episode? Catch up here!