The Hearthstone Adventures of Garrosh & Thrall- A chance to win vS Gold!

Ep. 2 – 1/25/18

We return to a peaceful retirement home where Garrosh and Thrall are seated together on the patio. Garrosh is surfing the web on his tablet, as he suddenly finds something that makes him stop and break a smile.

“Look at this, Thrall” he turns the tablet towards his former enemy “Spiteful Summoner is dating Malfurion. They have pictures from their last rendezvous on her instagram. Ha ha ha! Choke on that, Anduin!”

Thrall’s eyes widen in surprise, before breaking into laughter “Wait until Tyrande hears about this!” he uttered through his giggles.

“She’s so cheap!” Garrosh continues. “Spiteful Summoner will go through everyone by this time next year.”

“She moved on from you pretty fast a month ago” Thrall teases. Garrosh’s expression turns sour and he growls at his companion, not appreciating the sudden jab.

“I don’t need her.” Garrosh replies “I don’t need Patches either!”

“Now that squid’s the biggest player!” Thrall interrupts.

“Anyway,” Garrosh continues “all I need is my most trusted general, Fibonacci!”

Thrall looks confused hearing Garrosh’s words “Didn’t Fibonacci uninstall Hearthstone a while ago?” he asks.

“Well, it didn’t last long. Heh.” Garrosh answers with a tone of satisfaction “He hit legend this month with a Big Warrior deck! It’s on his Twitter, look”. Garrosh points at the tablet, which prompts Thrall to lean forward and take a closer look.

“You can always count on Fibonacci, Garrosh” he says with a smile, leaning back in his chair.

Garrosh nods in approval and relaxes back in his seat. Memories of the past few weeks envelop him. He remembers how everyone walked away from him, Pirates and Armorsmiths alike, leaving him all alone. He remembers how Ben Brode did not invite him to the Hearthstone World Championship, citing that he’s not one of the “cool kids” anymore. Only one person has stayed by Garrosh’s side.

“He’s never let me down.” Garrosh spoke, his voice slightly breaking as emotions began to overtake him. He glanced once again at his tablet, gently touching the screen with his index finger.

“Th… thank you…. Fibonacci”

Ep. 3 – 2/22/18

“Garrosh, can you stop clicking refresh every second? It’s pointless.”

Thrall sighed. His advice falling on deaf ears as Garrosh was sitting next to him in front of his laptop, pressing F5 with reckless abandon, waiting for the screen to change its appearance.

“The Data Reaper only comes out at 9am Pacific time, which is in two minutes” Thrall continued “There is no point in clicking refresh. They are always on time.”

Garrosh turned his head towards Thrall, raised his left brow, and proceeded to click the button before grinning.

“I just can’t wait for the report to appear!” he exclaimed “Finally, Emo boy Anduin’s toy has been taken from him, and my decks will reign supreme. You will see. My Togwaggle deck is going to be the meta breaker!”

Thrall rolled his eyes, and let out another sigh, relaxing back in his seat. The clock finally hit the top of the hour, signaling the release of the report.

“It’s here!” Garrosh cried out before immediately clicking on the new article. He started scrolling down the piece with bits of sweat forming on his face as his breath grew heavier in anticipation.

Thrall glanced at the screen with curiosity as Garrosh reached the Power Rankings table. His eyes scanned through the list until he found one of his decks, making him break out a smile.

“Hey, Garrosh, I’m at Tier 3! That’s respectable. No longer in the dumpster!”

Garrosh remained silent, his expression turning into one of confusion.

“None of my decks are listed in the table! What is the meaning of this? A conspiracy?” he growled in anger.

“Hmm” Thrall leaned forward, scratching his chin “Maybe there’s something in the write up about Warrior? Sometimes, low sample decks like your Togwaggle Warrior are mentioned as sleeper hits!”

“You’re right” Garrosh nodded, and continued to scroll down to the commentary. He reached the final paragraph, before his eyes widened in horror. There it was, black on white, the commentary about the Warrior class.

‘You may have noticed it by now, but Warrior is completely missing from the power rankings and the matchup table. The reason is simple: the class is dead. Not a single Warrior archetype even boasts reasonable data to analyze, and from the little data we have on Warrior, it’s looking atrocious. Record breaking bad. If we had a Tier 5, that’s where Warrior would be.’

Garrosh groaned, scrolling further down to the Warrior section. There was not much to find there either.

The only bright spot is that the new patch distracted us for a bit, and the next expansion is likely just 6-7 weeks away. Hold on tight, Warrior fans. At least there’s Wild format and Arena, where Warrior is not the worst class.

Oh wait, it is.

As the silence dominated the room, Thrall tried his best to hold his laughter, his palm forcefully holding his mouth to prevent his snickering from breaking through. He was shaking in his chair as Garrosh quickly got up.

“I’ve had it! I will not be made a fool any longer!” he cried out, clenching his fists “It’s time to take action. Anduin still has three good decks while I can’t even make Tier 4 anymore?! Disgusting!”

Garrosh turned away from the computer and stormed towards the door, as Thrall quickly got up and followed him.

“Where are you going?” He asked Garrosh, as his urge to laugh quickly subsided, replaced by a genuine concern at his distraught companion.

Garrosh stopped at the door, holding the knob, looking over his shoulder at Thrall. Intensity filled the air.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Garrosh replied in a determined tone “I’m going to find Ben Brode and make him answer to me.”

He opened the door, stepped out, and violently shut it behind him, leaving Thrall alone.

Thrall looked down and shook his head.

“Oh boy…”

Ep. 4 – 3/1/18

“I need answers, Ben! Look at this spreadsheet. All of my decks suck because you kept giving me bad cards to play with!”

The tall, bulky figure of Garrosh, wearing the massive Tusks of Mannoroth on his shoulders, was sitting on an office chair barely capable of holding his weight. Hearthstone’s Game Director was wearing his famous flannel shirt and leaning towards him at his own director’s chair, staring at a sheet of paper with checkered boxes of green and red colors that lay on the table in front of them.

“Why did you nerf Fiery War Axe? It was all I had to combat all of these minions that keep hitting me in the face!” the Orc continued “You should have at least waited until you could compensate for my Axe’s loss!”

“Yes, but you used that Axe to hit people in the face yourself, Garrosh” Brode responded, his eyebrow raised and his tone similar to a parent questioning his child’s antics.

“Well, you know, that was, eh” Garrosh looked away from Brode, stammering for a while before letting silence take over.

“Patches made me do it”.

“That’s no excuse, Garrosh!” Brode quickly replied, sounding slightly irritated, though his tone transitioned into an apologetic one as he continued “Anyway, you have to realize that there are nine classes in the game and one of them always ends up being the worst class. A meta will always have its flaws, you know?”

Garrosh now sat in silence, staring blankly at the sheet “How long can this go on, Ben?” he shrugged “Anduin keeps laughing at me”.

“Don’t worry, we have great plans in the next expansion” Brode’s face lit up, trying to encourage the sad Orc next to him “Warrior is going to make a comeback!”

Garrosh turned to Brode “So are you finally making Shield Slam hit face like I wrote in that letter I sent you a while ago?”

“Ummmm, we can’t do that, but” Brode continued “you’ll have to see what happens in the expansion’s announcement, it’s gonna be great. We’re moving Ice Block to the Hall of Fame, as well as Molten Giant and Coldlight Oracle…”

“Wait, what?” Garrosh interrupted “You’re rotating out Coldlight Oracle?!”

Brode nodded.

“OH COME ON!” Garrosh got up from his chair and started pacing around the table, groaning audibly and beginning to rant.

“How am I going to mill people now? That was the only thing I had fun doing, Ben! Argh! I’m sick of it. Hearthstone is a waste of time!”

“But Garrosh, wait a mi….”

“No!” Garrosh spat back “I’ve had enough, I’m not going to be smooth talked into accepting this! Coldlight Oracle? Really?”

“….”

“Anyway” Garrosh continued “I also need to, ummm” he paused for a moment, scratching his head “go talk to the Overwatch team, so we’re done here.”

Brode looked confused and somewhat curious “Why do you need to talk to the Overwatch team?”

“Why?” After a small break in his rant, Garrosh’s anger seems to have risen up another level as his breath grew deeper “Why, do you ask? I’ll tell you why, because they suck at balancing even more than you do!”

“How…”

“THEY NERFED MERCY!” Garrosh screamed before Brode had a chance to finish a word. The Orc was shaking and grunting, pacing back and forth, stopping next to a wall, and punching it in frustration, creating an audible thud.

“Wait a minute…” Brode wondered “You’re a Mercy main, Garrosh?”

“Of course, she’s the best!” Garrosh responded “Mercy is the only human I could ever admire. Her angelic grace, her lovely German accent, and the fact she can be played at a competent level by someone with huge fingers like me” Garrosh proceeded to present his huge palms to Brode, who tried his best to hide his newfound amusement.

“Anyway, I’m going now!” he continued “I’m gonna make them buff Mercy or I will physically fight Jeff until he gives up and agrees to my demands!”

Garrosh looked determined, and he started walking towards the door. Brode was shocked in his seat at the latest discoveries, before he seems to have picked up on Garrosh’s last few words, and his expression turned into one of concern. He quickly got up from his seat, chasing after Garrosh.

“Wait, Garrosh. This isn’t a good idea. Nobody has been able to fight Jeff and come out of it…”

“Enough!” Garrosh turned back to Brode “I will not listen to anything you say anymore! Victory or Death!” The Orc opened the door to the office, and slammed it shut behind him, leaving Brode alone in room.

The Game Director shook his head, shrugged to himself and burst into laughter.

“Wrestle with Jeff, prepare for death! HA HA HA!”

Ep. 5 – 3/8/18

“Okay, we’ve gathered here since Hearthstone is in a state of emergency. Give me a status report on the latest developments!”

Ben Brode was sitting in a conference room at the head of a long table. Sitting on both sides of the table were many representatives of Team 5. The room was filled with the sound of whispered chatter and audible typing noises emanating from the laptops of the participants, furiously clicking on their keyboards.

“Ranked mode is still disabled on all servers” one of the people sitting closer to Brode’s end of the table spoke up from the right hand side “we have reports of the ladder reset not allocating the appropriate number of stars for each player.”

“Not good” Brode responded before turning to his left “Mike, how is Reddit doing?”. Mike Donais was sitting right next Brode and began humming as he was staring at his laptop’s screen, deep in thought.

“Reddit is growing impatient, Ben.” He replied “they are beginning to meme about us being a small indie company again”.

“Not again!” Brode leaned back into his chair and sighed. He took off his glasses and began to rub his weary eyes “and we don’t even know what the problem is.”

“Our intel also suggests that Shadowverse activity is rising.” Another person chimed in from the back.

“Those weebs are so fickle!” Brode responded in frustration “We’re going to have to give some sort of compensation to players so that they’ll come back. What do you think, Mike?”

Mike nodded “Considering the downtime, we should definitely give the Americas region 3 free packs while increasing pack prices for the European region next month”.

“Agreed!” Brode quickly responded while slamming his hand in approval on the table “Get it done, guys.” the sound of whispers intensified in response.

Suddenly, a knock was heard and the door to the conference room opened. Dean Ayala entered the room, and all eyes in the room turned to him.

“Ben, we found the problem!” he was breathing heavily, implying that he was running to the meeting “someone spilt milk on the main server. We’re wiping it clean now, and it should work after we unplug it and plug it back in.”

“Thank God” Ben sighed in relief “But who drank milk in the main server room? I’m going to need an answer.” he gazed at the table, which prompted the frantic whispering to intensify once again.

—–

It was a bright sunny day in Irvine, California. Outside of Blizzard HQ, a tall, bulky figure was standing. He glanced at the building with the sun’s rays shining on his brown back. A large bandage was covering his left arm and his right hand was holding a bottle. Numerous bruises were visible on his body, the result of what seemed to be a grueling fight that left him battered.

He raised the bottle and drank eagerly with loud gulps. Some of the cold, white liquid spilled from the corners of his mouth. He finished what was left of the refreshing drink and sighed loudly in satisfaction. The figure stared at the empty milk bottle with a smile before throwing it away.

“That’s for Fiery War Axe, and Mercy” he whispered, before walking away.

Ep. 6 – 3/15/18

“So, how was Irvine, Garrosh? Did you enjoy your trip or was it a waste of time?”

Thrall and Garrosh were, once again, sitting at the patio of their home. They were side by side, staring into the sunset, holding cups of fruity beverages with swirly, colorful straws.

“It was worth it at the end.” Garrosh replied “I only regret not seeing their faces when their precious servers went down! Heh.”

Thrall sighed “I guess a small victory is still a victory…”

“Not just a small victory,” Garrosh continued with an enthusiastic tone “but did you see Odemian winning EGLX with Control Warrior? The deck had a great showing in the tournament. My most trusted followers still believe in the power of Hellscream!” Garrosh fist pumped and took a sip from his drink, which prompted Thrall to chuckle.

“Just in time for Coldlight Oracle to rotate.” Thrall teased, which instantly wiped the grin off of Garrosh’s face, followed by an irritated huffing sound.

“Whatever!” Garrosh replied “I’m going to follow Odemian on Twitter” Garrosh picked up his laptop from a small table to his right and opened it. After some frantic typing, he stopped and stared into the screen, with an expression slowly turning into one of shock.

“Thrall! They announced the new expansion!” he enthused “We’re going to Witchwood!”

The green Orc next to him immediately pulled up his own device, and the two were fixated on their screens, proceeding to read all of the information that has come out for the following few minutes.

“Rush? What is this nonsensical keyword?” Garrosh groaned “so you can’t hit them in the face? What’s the point of playing the game then?”

“You can now replace me with a new hero card, Hagatha?” Thrall followed “Why can’t they just buff ME?”

“So Baku gives me the ability to Tank Up again, but I can’t play Execute!” Garrosh shook his head in disappointment “This is a travesty! I’m going to quit!”

As the two Orcs groaned in disapproval at the future prospects of their decks, Thrall suddenly stopped and turned his face to Garrosh, who was taking another sip from his drink.

“Hey, Garrosh, they’re giving 20 bonus packs for a pre-order, so you get 70 packs instead of 50 like last time.”

Garrosh choked at his straw and began coughing loudly “20 extra packs!?” he shouted in surprise between coughs, before taking a deep breath to calm down his reflexes.

The two Orcs looked at each other, blinking numerous times while sitting in silence, before turning their eyes back to their laptops.

“I’m pre-ordering.” Thrall said quietly.

“Already did.”

Ep. 7 – 3/22/18

Garrosh was sitting at a desk in front of his computer, holding his mouse nervously. Thrall was sitting to his left, arms crossed, keenly observing the screen and scratching his chin. But the two Orcs weren’t alone. To Garrosh’s right, a beautiful woman with long blonde hair stood. Her hands were placed on her hips, and her back was slightly arched forward looking at the computer screen. She was wearing bright red cloth armor, spiky shoulder pads as well as bracelets and boots augmented with shining green gems. Her curvy thighs were bare, with a mesmerizing, pearly white skin. Long ears pierced through the hood covering her head, a sign of her elven descent.

“Now, Garrosh, you need to hold on to this Coldlight Oracle” she softly spoke, but with a confident, reassuring tone “Your win condition requires saving the Oracle so you use it to follow up on Dead Man’s Hands and draw them again.”

“But Valeera” Garrosh interrupted, turning his face towards her “Gul’dan has 9 cards in his hand. If I play it now I can burn two of his cards! He’ll be so mad”. Valeera shook her head and frowned in response.

“This is your last Coldlight Oracle. You have to copy it with DMH in this matchup. Burning two random cards is not worth giving up your win condition.” She replied, placing her hand on his shoulder armor.” You need to think about the end goal if you want to be a successful combo player rather than fall for the obvious but lower percentage line.”

“Listen to Valeera, Garrosh” Thrall chimed in “She’s an expert at executing these complicated strategies. It’s why I asked her to come so she can teach you how to play this deck.”

“Indeed” Valeera smiled, taking in the compliment “I’m a 4-time World Champion for a reason, Garrosh. The Rogue always finds a way!” she winked at the two Orcs, which prompted Garrosh to turn his glance back to the game and scratch his head in frustration.

“Argh, I can’t figure this out!” he growled “It’s been so long since I played Patron Warrior that I’ve lost my touch”.

“Magni was always better with that deck anyway” Thrall teased, which earned a stern look of disapproval from Garrosh.

After a few more minutes of Valeera’s lecturing, the game was over and the victory screen appeared. Valeera and Thrall clapped their hands and cheered, while Garrosh sank into his seat with a huge sigh of relief.

“Finally, I beat that fel junkie!” Garrosh cried out and raised his arms in the air, before they crashed back down to his sides “But I’m so tired that I can’t play anymore. This took 25 minutes! Isn’t there another deck that I can play?”

Garrosh’s words prompted Thrall and Valeera to look at each other. Valeera picked up on a subtle nod from Thrall and began to signal disapproval by shaking her head. A bead of sweat formed on Thrall’s forehead, and he appeared nervous, but he decided to ignore Valeera and turned his glance back to his companion.

“Well” Thrall finally spoke after a few moments of silence “I’ve heard Killingallday and Alexnoehr both hit #1 legend with Pirate Warrior. They probably took advantage of people mulliganing for Control and I’m not sure it’s still good but…”

“WHAT?” Garrosh shot back up in his seat. His fatigue seemed to have immediately evaporated, replaced by newfound energy “Show me!”

Thrall took the mouse, minimized the game and opened Twitter, going to both players’ accounts. Garrosh looked closely at the screen, nodded to himself in short intervals before breaking a huge smile.

“Pirate Warrior is back!” he declared “Time to play a real deck that hits face!” he snapped away the mouse from Thrall’s grip in a second, re-opened the Hearthstone client and started building a new deck in the collection manager.

“Ugh” Valeera groaned “Look at what you did, Thrall, he’s regressing again!” Thrall shrugged in response, and pointed at Garrosh.

“Just look how happy he is. Let him play what he wants…”

“Whatever” Valeera interrupted “clearly I’m not needed to teach him THAT deck.” she continued with a disgusted tone ”I’m off to play some Heroes of the Storm.”

The blonde elf walked away from the desk before vanishing in a cloud of smoke. Thrall sighed and leaned back in his seat, arms crossed, observing Garrosh who was acting like a little kid playing with his favorite toy, shouting cries of war every time he hit his opponent in the face with his weapon. Soon after, whatever doubts Thrall carried melted away, and he became fully engaged, cheering along with Garrosh.

The rest of the day was a rare and joyful time for the two Orcs, a reminder of better days and perhaps an omen for a better future that lies ahead.

Ep. 8 – 3/29/18

“I don’t know about you, Garrosh, but I’m excited about this expansion. I think good things are going to happen to us!”

Thrall and Garrosh were sitting at the patio of their home, holding fruity drinks in hand while browsing the internet on a laptop that rested on the table. The sun was setting, and the skies were darkening, donning beautiful and soothing shades of red.

“I agree,” Garrosh replied “I feel like the feedback we gave Blizzard hit home. I have a feeling we’re about to get really good cards”.

Thrall smiled and nodded to his companion “Indeed. Hagatha is not a bad late game card. She might help me in value battles and I’m interested in trying out an even-cost deck. Totems for 1 mana seem really good and that Eel is very powerful”.

“Maybe having cheaper totems will help you against Gul’dan!” Garrosh continued.

“Yes. Defile is so unfair against me right now!” Thrall groaned.

“Defile…” Garrosh clenched his fist as he uttered the word, his expression quickly turning sour and he was shaking his head.

“But hey, that’s in the past!” Thrall quickly broke the silence. He noticed Garrosh’s anger beginning to build up and decided to brush off his own frustration and stay positive “You’re getting Warpath too. It might seem like a weaker Defile, but it’s still a good, flexible AOE spell”.

“Yes!” Garrosh nodded, warming up to Thrall’s words “I can’t expect them to print a card as powerful as Defile again, so Warpath is nice”.

“And they did say they were keeping an eye on Gul’dan” Thrall continued “so he shouldn’t be getting crazy cards again”.

The two Orcs nodded to each other and smiled, taking a sip from their drinks and relaxing in their seats, feeling reassured.

Suddenly, a buzzing sound was heard, and both Orcs were looking around them. Thrall gestured to Garrosh, signaling it was coming from him. Thrall took out a cell phone that was tucked under his belt and looked at its screen.

“Speaking of Gul’dan, he just sent me a text.”

“What does that fel junkie say?” Garrosh wondered.

“He says…” Thrall paused for a moment “Check Twitter, suckers.”

Garrosh frowned, while Thrall looked irritated at the message. He quickly shoved the cell phone back under his belt and reached for the laptop. The two Orcs glanced at the loading browser and scrolled through the Twitter timeline. It didn’t take long for them to find a picture of a new Warlock card.

“Lord Godfrey,” Thrall began to read “7 mana 4/4. Battlecry: Deal 2 damage to all other minions. If any die, repeat this Battlecry”.

The Orcs sat silent for a few moments, wearing blank expressions.

“This is basically a stronger Defile…” Garrosh started.

“Yes,” Thrall interrupted.

“With a body on top of it…”

“Yes!” Thrall sounded more agitated.

“That’s harder to play around….”

“Yes!!!”

“And also kills all of your totems!”

“YES!!!” Thrall’s final scream echoed far in the distance. A pack of birds darted out of nearby trees, chirping in panic while flying away from the scene.

Garrosh stopped, as Thrall was closing all applications and shutting down the laptop. An awkward silence ensued for a minute as the two Orcs finished their drinks. Garrosh looked at an expressionless Thrall and finally mustered up the courage to speak once again, twiddling his thumbs.

“So… want to play some Overwatch?”

Thrall sighed at the suggestion, before speaking again.

“Are you going to let me pick Hanzo?”

“Sure.”

Ep. 9 – 4/5/18

“Garrosh, did you finish packing? It’s time to go!”

Thrall was standing at the doorstep, carrying a suitcase at his side. His left foot was tapping on the floor, signaling his impatience. Finally, he heard the sound of footsteps coming from the stairs, and saw Garrosh’s large figure descend, before approaching him at the door.

“I’m here, I’m here!” Garrosh called, carrying an oversized, green backpack and stopping near Thrall.

“Did you take everything with you? If you forget something, we can’t go back anytime soon.” Thrall warned.

“Yes, I have everything.” Garrosh replied in a monotonous tone, like a bored child assuring his mother that he’s got things under control.

“Well, the expansion is coming. We have to be prepared and do our best so that we don’t come back here in a month.” Thrall continued.

“Based on these cards that Blizzard is giving us,” Garrosh interrupted “I bet we’ll be back here soon enough. Rush? Can’t hit face? Ugh!” he growled and muttered to himself.

“We have to be optimistic, Garrosh. We haven’t seen the whole set yet. There could be surprises…”

“I guess,” Garrosh sighed “I just can’t bear looking at that little punk, Anduin. He’s gonna make fun of me again, I just know it!”

“Anduin is losing quite a few good cards, Garrosh…”

“And don’t forget about Gul’dan!” Garrosh ignored Thrall’s attempt to soothe him and ranted on “He’s so smug. A year ago he was a nobody and now he thinks he’s all that!”

As Garrosh continued on, the sound of a horn was heard, prompting Thrall to look out and spot a van parking next to the house.

“Enough ranting, Garrosh, let’s go!” Thrall gestured Garrosh to follow him and the two Orcs walked to the van. The back door opened, and soon enough, the Orcs were comfortably sitting inside the spacious vehicle suitable to carry them, looking out the windows as the sight of their home for the last 4 months was fading away.

A few minutes of silence passed. Thrall was just beginning to doze off, until he was woken up by the words of his companion.

“It was quite fun, to be honest, spending time here.” Garrosh spoke with a soft tone.

“Yeah,” Thrall smiled “It wasn’t all bad. You can be a good friend when you want to be.”

Garrosh was taken aback by Thrall’s words and looked down at the floor. His face turned away from Thrall’s piercing stare, attempting to hide his sudden discomfort and nervousness.

“Don’t misunderstand!” he spat back “It’s not like I like you or anything, stupid!”

“Sure.” Thrall’s smile grew wider “I hate you too.”