A Song of Fiery War Axe & Ice Breaker #9


“Okay, let’s begin our mid-expansion review. Today we might send people away until the new expansion or decide on new balance changes.”

The nine Hearthstone heroes were sitting in a large conference room. At the head of the table, Mike Donais was speaking. Some of the heroes looked relaxed, smiling. Others, such as Garrosh, who was sitting right next to Donais, looked nervous.

“I had you all sit in alphabetical class order from left to right” Donais turned to his left and looked at Malfurion, who seemed to be nodding off.

“Malfurion! Wake up!”

“Ah!” The Druid’s posture shot back up “I’m awake, I’m awake”. Donais sighed.

“You’ve been doing really well in this meta, Malfurion. People have been complaining about the class being too strong, but since being strong is part of the Druid class identity, I think it’s fine. We’ve decided on no nerfs”

“Hmm… Well Played!” Malfurion smiled. A few groans were heard around the table.

“Rexxar” Donais continued, now looking at the Hunter seated next to Malfurion “You’ve been less focused on hitting face this expansion, which is great. It looks like our rehabilitation program is doing wonders for you”

“I’m reformed, Mike” came the reply, which stirred a few rolled eyes in the room.

“Great to see” Donais smiled, before looking at the next hero. “Jaina, you’ve done a lot to help balance the meta. Team 5 is thankful for your efforts. Now we can proceed to do nothing, which is our favorite activity!”

Jaina nodded “Happy to help! Just print a burn card for me next expansion and we’ll call it even?”

Donais smiled and signaled a thumbs-up. His attention now turned to Uther, and his expression quickly turned into a more serious one.

“Uther, your case looks borderline.” He stopped for a moment, scratching his head “As long as you don’t spin out of control any further, I think we’ll be fine”

“Do not fret, Mr. Donais!” Uther replied with a cheerful tone “I’m sure that you and Team 5 will continue to steer this game in a positive direction. Hearthstone is a testament to the hard work you put in every week!”

“Why, thank you, Uther.”

Uther smiled and turned to glance at Garrosh across the table. The Orc looked irritated, which prompted Uther’s grin to grow even wider.

‘What a snake’ Garrosh thought to himself. However, thoughts of Uther quickly evaporated once the next name was called.

“Anduin” Donais started “Your decks have definitely been weak lately and Priest play rate has been quite low”

“But Mike, I have so many different decks seeing play!” Anduin responded, his tone signaled a hint of desperation “Some of my decks are perfectly viable too, with competitive win rates. If I’m the worst class, I’m the best worst class in the history of Hearthstone!”

Garrosh smiled to himself ‘Hah! This isn’t going to work. Time to face the music, little boy’

“Hmmm….” Mike deeply pondered “You have a point. The meta could change in your favor, and players are still using Priest in tournaments. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to keep you around”

Anduin breathed a huge sigh of relief.

“Thank you, Mike!”

Garrosh froze. He stared at Donais in disbelief.

‘This…. cannot be. How could they give that little boy a pass? They threw me out in two seconds last expansion! Do they just hate me?’

As Donais moved on to Valeera, the Orc gulped, realizing that his turn was coming soon…

Miss last week’s episode? Catch up here!


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