A Song of Fiery War Axe & Ice Breaker #8


“Another loss! This is so unfair!”

Garrosh slammed his fist on the table, emitting a loud thud that slightly startled Thrall, who was sitting next to him. On the screen in front of them, Garrosh’s portrait exploded, followed by the defeat screen. The opponent, a victorious Malfurion, managed to sneak in an emote of ‘Hmm…. Well Played’ before Garrosh could click away the screen.

“Wild Growth into Oaken Summons into Nourish into Coin/Oakheart. This is ridiculous! Nothing I could do about that game at all!”

Thrall sighed at his friend’s frustration.

“It happens….”

“Honestly,” Garrosh continued “Can you tell me the last time Malfurion wasn’t top tier? I swear, he must have something on the devs, like embarrassing baby pictures of them or something. He has 20 different good decks!”

“Malfurion wasn’t that good in Kobolds,” Thrall responded, scratching his head “but we weren’t around then, remember?”

“Of course I remember.” Garrosh groaned “We were so deep in the dumpster that they sent us away!”

A few moments of silence passed, in which only the sound of another queue popping was heard. The opponent, this time, was Gul’dan.

“Oh look, a new class!” Garrosh blurted out in a sarcastic tone “They nerf this guy all across the board, and all of his decks are still better than ours!”

“Garrosh, you need to relax!” Thrall looked concerned “You’re getting tilted and it’s going to affect your play.”

“Who cares? My decisions don’t matter at all! Look, he has the coin again!” Garrosh pointed at the screen “I guess we’re going to lose to a Mountain Giant on turn 3. So much fun!”

Thrall said nothing, admitting his defeat, but it wasn’t related to the game. It was related to his ability to snap Garrosh out of his current mood.

“Every day, I’ve been losing more often and less people play my decks. At this pace, I’m going to be irrelevant again!”

Just as Garrosh finished his sentence, two buzzing sounds were heard. Both Orcs reached for their pocket to grab their phones. It was a text message that was simultaneously sent to them.

“Meeting in the main conference room in two hours? What is this about?” Garrosh wondered.

Thrall looked concerned and stayed silent for a few seconds, pondering his words before speaking.

“This is the mid-expansion meeting. The one in which they decide who to send away to the retirement home”.

Garrosh looked puzzled “Wait, what? Why would they have this meeting now? Every class is competitive at least, isn’t it? I mean, I know I haven’t been doing that great lately and the class’ usage is pretty low but…”

Thrall did nothing but look back at Garrosh, with an expression full of pity and sadness.

“No…” Garrosh’s eyes widened in horror “They’re not going to send me there again, are they?”

“I don’t know” Thrall shook his head.

“They can’t! Your class is in good shape, so they’re not sending you. This means that if they send me away, I’m going to be all alone in that house! I’m gonna go insane! Did you remember what happened to Gul’dan last year after he came back? He was never the same since! He turned into a role-playing lunatic…”

“You might not be alone, Garrosh” Thrall interrupted with an alarming tone.

A few moments passed before another buzz was heard. This time, it only came from Garrosh’s phone. He looked at the screen, and began to read a message, before his face froze.

It came from Anduin.

“If I’m going to hell, I’m taking you with me, roommate!”

Miss last week’s episode? Catch up here!


  1. These stories started at the ends of each data report in the end of the last expansion, and they were about thrall and garrosh at the retirement home.

Comments are closed.