“Here’s to another great day of Hearthstone!”
Garrosh & Thrall were, once again, seated next to a computer with the Hearthstone client open. Garrosh was in a cheerful mood, stretching his arms and neck out to shake off the morning rust, yawning loudly. Thrall was looking at his mobile phone, and seemed concerned at what he was reading.
“So there’s this new patch that came out, Garrosh” he spoke “It’s full of bugs and new interactions that we will need to learn. Reddit is really mad about it.”
“Eh? A few bugs don’t seem like a big deal” Garrosh pondered “Reddit is always mad about something!”
“They are a big deal.” Thrall replied “Queue up into a game and I’ll guide you along.”
Garrosh nodded. He entered the play screen and hovered over his favorite deck in recent days, Taunt Warrior. A brief smile emerged on his face as he clicked the play button. Warrior was a strong class these days, something that he hasn’t experienced in a very long time.
The mulligans were done, and Garrosh was going first. He hovered over the Quest card, ready to play it on turn 1, until he was quickly interrupted by Thrall.
“Wait a second, Garrosh. This is one of the bugs. You need to hover over the two other cards before you play the quest. Otherwise, the quest disappears.”
“Huh? Really?” Garrosh looked confused “That seems to be completely game breaking! Isn’t Team 5 fixing it?”
“They are working on it. We have to make do for now. Just do as I say.”
Garrosh hovered over the rest of his hand before playing the Quest. The yellow exclamation mark appeared with no glitches.
A few more turns passed, until Thrall stopped Garrosh short of making his next play.
“Okay, this is another bug we have to dodge. After you play a taunt created by Stonehill Defender, you have to use the ‘Wow’ emote within 5 seconds or the game crashes.”
“What the hell is this nonsense?!” Garrosh groaned “Are you serious? How did they let this through?”
“I don’t know how, Garrosh” Thrall sighed “I’m just telling you what you need to do to avoid the bugs. You have to trust me in order to win this game.”
Garrosh scratched his head, puzzled.
“Okay, whatever you say.”
Garrosh proceeded to emote following his play. Malfurion, his opponent in the match, emoted back ‘Well played’.
“It seems like Malfurion is also aware of this bug.” Thrall spoke, scratching his chin, deep in thought “He had to emote back in order to not lose 10 points of his life”.
Garrosh stared at Thrall with bewilderment; the latter looked completely serious and focused on the screen. The brown skinned orc did not speak a word. His attention turned back to the game as he attempted not to let these new circumstances distract him. He had to focus on the match.
A few minutes passed, during which Thrall directed Garrosh on how to avoid other bugs with similarly mundane actions. The game reached the late stage, where Garrosh has now completed his quest and began firing away a Ragnaros shot every turn.
Malfurion was now at 14 life, desperately attempting to flood the board with minions in order to play around the upgraded hero power. Garrosh looked pleased, as he was in a comfortable position to win the game. He played Brawl in order punish Malfurion’s previous turn. With only one of the Druid minions surviving, Garrosh was ready to click the hero power again.
“Wait, Garrosh” Thrall grabbed Garrosh’s arm to stop him from making his play “This is another major bug. If the opponent has exactly 14 life and you just played Brawl, you cannot perform any further action in the game until you do the following:”
“What is it now? I just want to finish the game!” Garrosh looked increasingly frustrated.
“You have to get up from your seat, spin 3 times and cluck like a chicken” Thrall continued “If you don’t, the game auto-concedes and you lose the game”.
Garrosh sat silent for a few seconds, processing what he had just heard from Thrall. He tried to read his companion’s expression as he spoke up.
“No. Freaking. Way. This is a prank. You are joking me!”
Thrall shook his head, pleading innocence “I’m not joking. You have to do it before you click on the hero power or it forces you to concede.”
“What do my out of game actions have to do with the game code?! This is RIDICULOUS” Garrosh shouted. He was furious and breathing heavily, continuing his rant.
“There is no way the game code can malfunction like this. I know what you’re going to do! Once I do that stupid clucking dance, you will record me with your cell phone and send it to Valeera! I’m not STUPID, Thrall! This whole thing was a prank! None of these bugs were real!”
“Please listen to me, Garrosh, I’m trying to help…”
“No! I’m not falling for this. Watch me expose your lies, Thrall.”
Garrosh pulled his arm away from Thrall and proceeded to click the hero power button. The Ragnaros shot hit the minion. A few moments followed and Garrosh passed his turn to the opponent. He smiled.
“You see! I didn’t fall for your tricks…”
“I CHOOSE DEATH!”
Garrosh couldn’t finish his sentence before his portrait suddenly exploded, signaling his own concession from the game. The defeat screen appeared, prompting Thrall to lean back on his seat with his arms crossed. Garrosh’s mouth was wide open in shock.
“I told you so.”
Soon after, a message was sent through the client from Malfurion, appearing on the bottom left of the screen. Its words made Garrosh sink his face into his hands.
‘GG. Did you forget to spin 3 times and cluck?’
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